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Three Kinds of Love
There are three kinds of Love. The Love that comes out of Charm, that which comes out of comfort, and the Divine Love. Do you see what I am saying?
The love that comes out of charm does not last long. It comes out of unfamiliarity or out of attraction. In this you lose the attraction fast, and boredom sets in, like most love marriages. This love may diminish and bring along with it fear, uncertainty, insecurity, and sadness.
The Love that comes out of comfort and familiarity grows. But this Love has no thrill, no enthusiasm, joy, or fire to it. For example, you are more comfortable with an old friend who is a familiar person, rather than with a new person.
The Divine Love supersedes both the above. The Divine Love has ever newness. The closer you go, there is more charm and depth. The Divine Love has comfort, enthusiasm, and familiarity. There is never boredom and it keeps everyone on their toes.
Worldly love can be like an ocean, yet an ocean has a bottom. The Divine Love is like the sky which is limitless, infinite. From the bottom of the Ocean, soar into the vast sky.
The personal and impersonal
How can we reconcile the impersonal with the personal?
In love you raise the object to life. When you love an object it becomes life.
For children everything is personal. Children take each object they play with and make it totally personal. Even a stone has a face; even the sun laughs.
When you attach emotion, the whole creation becomes personal.
When you remove the emotion, even people become objects.
Violence is removing the emotion.
How a person can kill another person: it is when they do not see them as a person, they see them as an object. But even a stone attracts reverence when it becomes personal.
Dean says: In military training they teach soldiers to see people as killing objects coming toward you that need to be killed first.
Susannah says: In the temple even a stone is elevated to the level of spirit.
Sri Sri: The impersonal cannot attract reverence. Most people see God as impersonal and therefore they do not progress.
Dean and Susannah say: "That's why we need a Guru!"
Chan says: When we say something isn't real, then it's impersonal. When we personalize something, we make it real. So then, what is reality?
Sri Sri: You are the Reality. You are not the thoughts, you are not the emotions nor actions. You are not even a person...!
Exercise: What you now see as impersonal, see it as personal. And when you feel any negative emotion towards anybody, see them as impersonal. And pretend that you yourself are a robot.
Let love be
Let love be. Don't give it a name. When you give it a name it becomes a relationship, and relationship restricts love.
There is love between you and me. Just let it be. If you name love, for example, brother, sister, mother, father, guru, you are making it into a relationship. Relationship restricts love. Let love be. Don? give it a name.
What is your relationship to yourself? Are you your wife, brother, husband, guru?
The fife insights
Love is your nature.
In the process of its expression, you often get caught up in the object. This is when your sight is caught outside. To return back to your nature, you need insight.
Pain is the first insight.
It takes you away from the object and turns you towards your body and mind.
Energy is the second insight.
A bolt of energy brings you back to your Self.
Divine Love is the third insight.
A glimpse of Divine love makes you so complete and over rules all the relative pleasures.
Trance is the fourth insight.
An elevation of consciousness and partial awareness of the physical reality around is Trance.
Non-dual existence, that all is made up of one and only one, is the fifth insight.
When love glows, it is bliss,
When it flows, it is compassion,
When it blows, it is anger,
When it ferments, it is jealously,
When it is all Nos, it is hatred,
When it acts, it is perfection,
When love Knows, it is ME!
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Love is your very Existence
Suppose someone shows a lot of love to you, what do you do?
1. Often you do not know how to respond.
2. You feel obliged and bound.
3. Shrink or shy away.
4. Feel foolish and awkward.
5. Try to reciprocate even though it is not genuine.
6. Doubt the love expressed and ones own worthiness.
7. You are afraid of losing respect because love does not allow distance and respect tends to keep distance.
8. Your ego hardens and does not allow you to receive and reciprocate.
9. Anything else. (Fill in the blanks).
The ability to receive genuine love comes with the ability to give love. The more you are centered and, by experience, know that you are love, the more you feel at home with any amount of love being expressed in any manner, for deep inside, you know :
Love is not an emotion !!
It is your very Existence !!!
Love
Do you love someone, because they are great or unique? I tell you - you are hopeless!
Why do you love someone? Is it because of their qualities or is it because of a sense of kinship or intimacy?
You can love someone for their qualities and not feel a sense of kinship. This type of love gives rise to competition and jealousy. Such is not the case when love arises out of kinship.
If you love someone for their qualities, then when the quality changes or you get used to the quality, love also changes. However, if you love someone out of kinship, because they belong to you, then that love remains for life-times.
People say "I love God, because He is great". This is no big thing. If God is found to be ordinary, just one of us, then your love for God collapses! If you love God, because He is yours, then however God is, whether He creates or destroys, you still love Him. The love for kinship is like the love for yourself.
Question : Many people do not have love for themselves?
Answer : No! It is the other way around. They love themselves so much, that they want better qualities and better appearance for themselves. This love of qualities makes them be hard on one self.
If love is based on the quality of a person, then the love is not stable - after sometime the qualities change and the love becomes shaky. Loving someone because of their greatness or uniqueness is Third-rate love. Loving someone because they belong to you, great or otherwise, is unconditional love.
Knowledge, Sadhana, Seva and Satsang help to bring about a sense of belonging in no time. When love springs forth from a sense of belongingness then the actions and qualities do not over shadow the love. Neither the qualities nor actions can be perfect all the time. Love and a feeling of kinship alone can be perfect.
Your expression of love
You feel a lot of love for someone and they do not take it. What do you do?
1. Get frustrated
2. Turn the love into hatred and wish for revenge
3. Again and again remind them how much you love them and how little they love you
4. Become fussy and cranky
5. Throw tantrums
6. Feel humiliated and try to protect your respect
7. Resolve never to love again
8. Feel hurt and mistreated
9. Try to be aloof and indifferent
...and you have seen that none of these work. They only make the situation worse. What is the way out of this? How do you maintain your lovingness?
1.Have patience and change your expression of love.
2. Be centered and limit your expression of love. Sometimes over-expression of love puts people off.
3. Take it for granted that they love you too and accept their style of expression. For example, a mother with three kids. One child talks, one child does not talk, one child throws tantrums. Mother's love is the same irrespective of their behavior.
4. Genuinely acknowledge their love for you. This will turn your demand into gratefulness and the more you are grateful in life, the more love comes your way.
5. Know that hurt is part of love and take responsibility for it. When you move away from your center, you will definitely get hurt and the nature of worldliness is misery.
The signs of love
When you love someone you don't see anything wrong in them. Even if you see some fault in them you justify the fault and say "Well everyone does it, it is normal".
You think you have not done enough for them. The more you do, the more you want to do for them. They are always in your mind. Ordinary things become extraordinary. For example: a baby winking at grandmother. You want them to be yours exclusively. When you love someone, you want to see them always happy and you want them to have the best . You get hurt even over small things. 33% extra knowledge !!! (Laughter)
Sri Sri: You wish someone of what they don't have ? Right ?
Answer: Yes !
Sri Sri: When you say Best Wishes, you imply that they are not best NOW I tell you, NOW is the best. If you realize this tomorrow can only be better.
Abiding in the self
Abiding in the self you become the valentine for the whole world. Spirit is the valentine of matter and matter is the valentine of the spirit. They are made for each other. They uphold each other. If you hold onto matter and do not respect the spirit, then matter is not pleased. If you honor the spirit then you will care for the world, and when you care for the world, it will take care of you.
I am the valentine of the whole world and I reside in every heart. If you are my valentine, you will see me everywhere. Have the same love for everyone, with different flavors. You cannot behave the same way with everyone, but you can love all of them the same. Love transcends behavior and etiquette.